Finally got this damn thing done! Underneath the cut is the transcript from Karl’s panel on the Saturday at Armageddon Melbourne 2012. Enjoy!
I actually, speaking of practical jokes. I had practical joke played on me many years ago by Viggo. Viggo Mortensen, have you heard of him? [sarcasm on full there] So I’m scheduled to go on a plane to shoot Chronicles of Riddick. Viggo calls my agent and speaks to her husband pretending to be me.
[does very bad voice] ‘Yeah G’day it’s Karl here.’ [laughter at the bad accent] Modifying some Australian. [more laughter]
'I can't leave 'cause I don't have my red socks. I need my red socks. I can't get on the plane…[does noises like phone conversation breaking up]
And that’s the phone call basically. And this sends my agent into an absolute spin. She’s running around. She’s afraid the deal is going to fall over, I’m not getting on the plane, I don’t have my lucky red socks.
So she calls up to me and goes, ‘What’s going on? You’re not getting on the plane? I’ll buy you a fucking pair of red socks. You need to get on the plane!’ [laughter]
I’m like, ‘Jenny, what are you talking about?’ [laughter and Karl paused for a bit and mimed a thought occurring] ‘Viggo!’ [laughter and applause]
So about a month ago…. [laughter] This was about…Chronicles of Riddick was 2004. See, I don’t forget! A month ago I’m in Spain doing press for Dredd. Viggo has a movie called Un Plan which is opening up that same weekend and I’m talking to the Press and I realise my press day happens before Viggo’s press day. So here’s what I do.
I do my interview and then when the interview finishes and the reporters are going out the door I go, ‘Mate, tell you what, I’ve got a day off tomorrow. Really looking forward to that.’
They go, ‘Oh yeah, what are you doing?’
"Well, funny you should ask.’ [laughter] ‘My mate, Viggo Mortensen, bought a goat farm in Segovia! [laughter] ‘He’s got about a thousand goats! He’s making goat cheese. I’m gonna go and check that out! A thousand goats, have to be pretty bloody impressive mate!’ So I say this to every single press person. [laughter and applause]
It makes the six o’clock news. [more laughter and applause] It’s reported in the papers! Every single interview that Viggo does the next day is asking him about this goat farm in Segovia! You’ve got a thousand goats!
So I get the email from him.
Bastard! [laughter and applause]
He says, ‘Half way through I gave up denying and I just started to lie and was…I like the spotted goats because they fart less and their cheese tastes sweet.’ So he started going with it.
Transcript - Karl Urban Armageddon Melbourne 2012 Saturday panel: